Communication & HR Expert

A belief is a certainty about what is true. Shall we just do the big one first? There is a God. I'm not here to debate it with you. I'm just saying this is your belief. Either you believe there is a God, or you don't...or you might be floating in between somewhere. But certainty about what is true is a belief.

They are the yes or no questions of life. they are more likely to be consciously decided than your values. Your values you sort of pick up as you go along. Values are gathered from your parents, your acquaintances. You get values from television, from the things you read.

But beliefs tend to stop and make you think. And that is what makes them more susceptible to change. Your beliefs have a tendency to change over time. As you get more information you are more willing to modify your beliefs than you are your values.

The interesting thing about beliefs is that we ten to delete conflicting information. If the information we receive doesn't match what we believe, we delete it.

Let me give you an example. I used to be afraid of bridges. I don't know if anyone else has gephyrophobia...in layman's terms bridge-a-phobia. Now I wasn't just afraid of a skinny little interstate bridge. I was fine crossing a river on that. You all know the kind of was scared of... Did you ever see this big mountain of a bridge and when you're driving up the thing you're kind of pulled back in your seat because you're going up and up? And it looks like you're going up into the sun. I would sweat. I would panic. I once was in San Francisco and there's this huge bay between San Francisco and Oakland. And there's an easy way to get from one city to the other. It's called the Oakland Bay Bridge. But I drove four hours around the southern tip of San Jose, Palo Alto and back up the other side to avoid that bridge because I was afraid of bridges.

Because I had a belief about bridges. What was my belief about bridges? I believed I was going to fall off the edge of it. Now where on earth would I get a belief like that? There's absolutely no evidence to support it. Thousand of people, millions of people, probably thousands of millions of people drive across bridges quite successfully every day. But do you know what I did? I would watch the newspapers for stories about bridge collapses, about somebody getting hurt on a bridge, anything to support my belief.

And do you know what? I actually found one because down in Louisiana somewhere a barge ran into a bridge, knocked poles from under it. And you know what happened? Cars fell off of the bridge, into the water. I had my proof. I cut it out of the newspaper and put it on my desk. Does that sound sick and sad to you? Maybe it does. But everyone has issues like this. We all do it. We focus on the one piece of proof that supports our belief and ignore all the millions of other pieces of proof that do not. Beliefs are like that. We delete the conflicting information.

Beliefs can be limiting or empowering. One that keeps you from moving forward toward your outcome is limiting. One that moves you forward toward your outcome is empowering. My belief about bridges was certainly limiting. It prevented me from doing a lot of things I really wanted to do. And it was embarrassing, especially when I had other people in the car with me.

We also have compound beliefs such as if the price of something is too low then it isn't good quality, and if it isn't good quality then it shouldn't be bought. Or if something is done too fast it won't last, and if it won't last it's not worth doing.

Everybody with whom you communicate has beliefs. If you know what their beliefs are you can persuade them. Your boss has beliefs and values. Your staff have beliefs and values. Your customers/clients have beliefs and values. If you know what they are you can communicate more effectively.

Remember, each person's Model of the World is made up of five components:

Do you now understand "beliefs?" Would you like to discuss it further? I'm available to discuss your questions about values via e-mail.